CALVIN FOR PRESIDENT!
by Swing123
Summary: Calvin is running against Susie for school president! COMPLETE MUCH BETTER CHAPTER!
1. the school president

Day one, Monday, 4:05 PM

Calvin was coming home from school one day.

He rode in the bus next to (you guessed it) Susie Dirkins.

Susie was talking about the school president election, that was happening on next Monday.

Calvin wasn't listening to one word, he was lost somewhere in his imagination. "_The amazing SPACEMAN SPIFF, stares out into the vast regions of space._" he thought. "_All at once, Zorkoids from planet yackerall attack! Spiff activates his DEATH RAY BLASTER!_"

"You know what Calvin?" The Zorkoid queen, I mean, Susie said after a while, "I'M gonna run for school president!"

Calvin was all at once snapped from his fantasy world. He stared at Susie. Susie stared right back. Then Calvin began laughing.

"No way Susie DORKins! 'Cause I'M running for school president!"

Susie began to laugh. "There's no way ANY ONE would vote for you!" She yelled. "Cause you're too stupid to be a president!"

Calvin's eyes bulged. "WHAT?!" he yelled. Susie grinned. "The other day you said 87 49!" she said. "So I was off by a little, sue me."

Just then, the bus stopped, ending Calvin's conversation with Susie. Calvin got up, and began to walk away.

"See you on the stage Calvin! I hope you'll have a speech ready!" he heard Susie yell.

Calvin rushed into the house. "HOBBES! HOBBES!" he yelled running up the stairs to his room. He opened the door, and saw Hobbes sitting on his bed, reading a comic book.

Calvin told Hobbes about the conversation.

Hobbes blinked. "If want to win," he said "you better make up a speech for what you'll do if you're elected." Calvin's eyes blanked out. "Can you help me?" he asked the tiger. "Sure." said Hobbes.

He pulled out a paper and a pencil.

"Lets start." said Hobbes. "What will you do if you are elected? What would you do to make the school a better place?"

Calvin grinned. "That's easy!" he said. "Less learning, and more playing! I think we should leave school work for the machines, and play outside all day!"

By the end of the day, Calvin had a long speech written out. The question was: was it good enough to make Calvin president?


	2. the speeches

Chapter 2

Calvin stood at the front of the stage. He peeked over the curtain. All the kids in school were there. Even, YIKES! What was Moe doing there?

Calvin walked on-stage.

Susie grinned at him and began her speech.

"_Fellow students." _

Calvin almost barfed.

"_To make this school a better place, I vow, if I am elected, to bring extra school hours, and I promise to make all teachers have higher paying salary." _

The teachers clapped politely, but everyone else just stared at her.

"_Vote for me," _she continued. "_And you won't get F's anymore. You will try it again, until, you secede!" _

Stares.

Susie turned to Calvin.

Calvin turned to his audience, and then dove right into his speech.

"_Hey booger brains! What are you doing in this school? There's a playground right outside! If we have calculators now, then why on earth are we sitting in chairs staring at math problems??! If I am elected, then I will do away with math tests and all that other garbage! I say we play outside all day! As for history, who needs it?! If it has already happened and past, right? then why on earth are we sitting around wondering about how Colombus discovered Ohio! Forget it! It's water under the bridge! Geography? Who needs it? The continents are just going to shift to some other place, so why even learn it in the first place? And English? We already speak that language! Who needs to write anyway? We've got computers with WordPerfect, and Word Pad!"_

When Calvin finished his speech, an uproar of applause went up.

Calvin knew who was going to win.

Susie stood there.

She showed no sign of cracking.

Calvin grinned.

"No tests." he repeated, and walked offstage.

Calvin turned his head to Susie. He expected to see her crying, but... HUH? She was laughing. Calvin was totally confused.


	3. the votes

Chapter 3

the votes

Later that week, Miss Wormwood brought a hat into the classroom.

Everyone stared at her.

"Class," she said, "the votes for the new school president are in here."

Calvin and Susie looked up eagerly.

Miss Wormwood took the first paper out. "This first vote is for Calvin" she said.

All at once, Calvin leaped from his seat, and jumped on top of his desk.

"Thank you, thank you." he said.

"You may sit down, Calvin, that was only one vote."

Calvin obeyed and watched as Miss Wormwood took another slip out of the hat.

"One for Susie." she took another one. "Calvin, Susie, Calvin, Susie, Susie Calvin, Calvin... last vote class."

Miss Wormwood took the last paper out of her hat.

She stared at the name, then her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

"The new school president..." she sighed, "is Calvin."

Calvin jumped. His desk, and chair flew in all directions.

Calvin held up both hands into a peace sign, and then began celebrate by yelling at Susie. "No F's! HA! Of corse no F's, cause we're never gonna have to do get another grade AGAIN!"

Susie sat in her chair. A wide grin spread across her face, but Calvin didn't notice.

He swung around to Miss Wormwood, and yelled.

"AS your master, I, Calvin the Bold, demand that we go out side and play all day! And I want an extra swing set!"

Miss Wormwood shook her head.

"Calvin, you don't have that kind of power." she said.

Calvin stared at her.

"What you mean, I don't have that kind of Power? That other president guy does."

Miss Wormwood shook her head again.

"That's different, Calvin. The main president has power because he's the president of the United Sates. You're just the president of this school. You have no power on what we do."

Calvin's eyes bulged.

"But, but I'm president! At least **_I_** have the power to play outside all day!"

"No, you don't." Miss Wormwood replied.

There was a long moment of silence, then,

"you may take your seat Calvin."

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" Calvin screamed. " MY INAUGURATION SPEECH WAS NOTHING BUT A STUPID WASTE OF TIME?! A FOOL'S ERRAND?! A TOTAL..."

"you may take your seat Calvin." Miss Wormwood interrupted.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS!" Calvin continued. "THESE INNOCENT CHILDREN DESERVE THE RIGHT TO DO THINGS OTHER THAN WHY THE VIKINGS CHOSE AFRICA TO CONQUER, OR WHAT TEN PLUS TEN IS!"

a few kids nodded in agreement.

Susie was still grinning.

"AND FURTHER MORE..."

"CALVIN, SIT DOWN!"

Calvin's head jerked back up to Miss Wormwood. She had never YELLED at them before.

Calvin took his seat, grumbling.

When he got home, Hobbes was waiting for him.

"So did you win?" he asked.

"I don't want to TALK about it!"

Hobbes rubbed his chin. "No huh? Well, better luck next time."

"I DID win, Hobbes." Calvin growled.

Hobbes shrugged. "Then why are you extra cheerful right now, Mr Sunshine?"

Calvin ignored him, and stormed up to his room. Hobbes followed.

"Hobbes, I don't believe this!" Calvin yelled. "I WAS ELECTED PRESIDENT, BUT I HAVE AS MUCH POWER AS I DID WHEN I WASN'T!"

Hobbes patted Calvin on the shoulder.

"Well, at least Susie isn't president." he said. "How comforting, Hobbes." Calvin snapped.

The next day, Calvin stormed around the school. Every now and then yelling "UN-FAIR ELECTION!" or "MORE POWER!"

A few kids followed behind him.

Calvin held the stuffed tiger up for everyone to see.

He had a piece of paper taped to his chest reading "UNFAIR!!!" or so everyone else saw. What Calvin saw was Hobbes walking dully around with Calvin. Making peace signs, and mumbling "unfair. Give president more power. Susie is a booger brain."

Calvin turned to Hobbes.

"HOBBES! Lets see some spirit put into this! I'm never going to get the power I need with you lumbering around and looking bored!"

"Calvin," Hobbes said. "Almost nobody is joining your rebellion against the school. Just forget it."

"HOBBES!" Calvin yelled. "This is playing against learning! We need more support then that!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes. "Calvin, I'm afraid to tell you, that leaning seems to be winning."

Calvin saw Miss Wormwood beaconing him into the classroom. Calvin shook his head and yelled; "UNFAIR! MORE POWER! RECALL!"

Just then, Calvin saw The principal, Mr Spittle, storming over to Calvin, with a very angry look on his face.

Hobbes rolled his eyes. "I rest my case." he said.

Calvin screamed "AAA! NO! MORE POWER!"

Mr Spittle took Calvin by the arm, and led him away.

"NO! I'M THE PRESIDENT! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! HELP! HELP! HOBBES! EAT HIM, EAT HIM!"

But Hobbes didn't do anything as you might have already guessed.

Mr Spittle tossed him and Hobbes into the principal's office.

The next day was a weekend, so Calvin stayed home.

He sat in a chair in his room. A look of total anger on his face.

Hobbes sat by him.

"Look on the bright side, Calvin..." Hobbes began but Calvin cut him off

"BRIDE SIDE?! BRIGHT SIDE?! WHAT BRIGHT SIDE?! THE FEW KIDS THAT JOINED THE REVOLT QUIT, I'M HAVING DETENTION FOR WEEKS, I LOST MY JOB AS THE PRESIDENT, AND SUSIE HAS MADE A MOCKERY OF MY LIFE!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"I hear that Hall monitors have more power than a president." he said.

Calvin looked up. "Ok, Hobbes, what's your point?"

Hobbes took a crumpled up piece of paper out from behind his ear. He handed it to Calvin. Who took it, un-wrinkled it, and read it.

**Hall Monitor wanted**

**for information, please talk to Mr. Spittle, the school principle.**

A wide grin spread across his face. "Oh yes!" he said in a very happy/angry voice. "Perfect."

Hobbes grinned. "Good luck." then he laughed. "With he trouble YOU'RE in, you'll never get that job!"

Calvin shot a sneaky grin at Hobbes. "Wanna bet?"

Hobbes stopped laughing and stared and stared at Calvin.

"Sure." he said. "Five bucks says you won't get the job."

Calvin grinned.

"Pop out your wallet fuzz brain! 'Cause I'm going off to bribe Mr Spittle!"

"Good luck." grinned Hobbes, then he laughed again.

_Swing123: the story isn't finished yet. Keep an eye out for chapter four. Which will begin part two for Calvin for President. Coming soon!_


	4. Hall Monitor

_Swing123: ok! I fixed it. Here's a much better ending_

Calvin walked into the principal's office, like a detective would walking out of a building.

He had very serious expression on his face, and he was swinging his arms back and forth as if he jogging.

"Hey, Mr SPITtle, how's your saliva problem?" Calvin chuckled at his bad joke, and plunged himself into the chair.

Mr Spittle stared at him.

"What do ya want, Calvin?" he asked.

"It's very simple actually." Calvin said, crossing his legs. "I'm here to comply for the job."

"Ok." Mr Spittle handed Calvin a bunch of cleaning tools.

"Have fun."

Calvin stared at the cleaning tools. "What's this?" he demanded.

"Cleaning tools." said Mr Spittle. "Have fun cleaning the lockers."

"THE LOCKERS!" Calvin screamed. "YOU WANT ME TO CLEAN THE LOCKERS!"

"Yup." said Mr Spittle. "Have fun."

"But I came for the job as Hall Monitor." Calvin whined.

"No." said Mr. Spittle simply.

"Well, then." Calvin said crossing his arms. "I'll have to come back here, every five minutes to complain."

Mr Spittle's eyes popped open.

"Here ya go!" Mr Spittle threw a blue uniform at Calvin. "You start tomorrow."

"Thank you." grinned Calvin, and he raced out of the room.

That day, Calvin couldn't stop thinking of his new job.

When he got home, he showed Hobbes the uniform.

"And I start tomorrow! Pretty impressive huh?" Calvin bragged.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"You cheated when you said you'd bug 'em all day." he said.

"Maybe so, but I still got the job! So there!" Calvin spat.

There was a moment of silence.

"Ok." said Hobbes, and with that, he walked away.

The next day, he slipped his uniform on, and walked down halls.

For a while, nothing happened.

Calvin rolled his eyes around and whistled to himself.

GAD! This was boring!

Calvin paced up and down the halls.

"_How do those Hall Monitors do it?_" wondered Calvin.

Ho–hum.

Five minutes went by, and Calvin thought he'd go nuts.

WHERE WAS EVERYBODY!

Calvin snuck down the hall to his classroom.

He peeked into the room.

Miss Wormwood was yakking about addition.

"_At least I'm not going through THAT!_" thought Calvin.

He walked back down the hall.

He sighed.

But then, AH-HA! Susie came down the hallway.

"HALL PASS, LADY!" Calvin commanded. Susie stared at him, and gave him her hall pass.

Calvin studied it. "Hmmm." he said. Then he announced, "THIS IS A FAKE!"

Susie stared at him.

"Calvin!" she exclaimed. "Miss Wormwood signed it! It's not fake!"

"Ah, but it is, Miss Dirkins!" Calvin said. "Observe."

Calvin put the pass in Susie's face. "This hall pass, my dear lady, DOES NOT HAVE YOUR HAIR COLOR ON IT!"

Susie's mouth dropped open. "Calvin! You don't need your hair color on it!"

"Plus," Calvin continued. "This Hall Pass doesn't have the amount of socks in your closet!"

Susie stared at him.

"Or the number of shoes you're wearing! I'm sorry, Miss Dirkins, but you also forgot to put your blood type on it! I'm afraid I'm going to have to report you!"

Calvin grabbed Susie's arm, and led her away.

"CALVIN, YOU MEATHEAD! LET GO! MISS WORMWOOD! HELP!"

Calvin shoved Susie into the Mr. Spittle's office. "I've caught one, sir! She had a hall pass without the amount of salvia on her tongue written down!"

Mr Spittle stared at Calvin. "Go away." he said.

Calvin grumbled, and let Susie go.

Calvin returned to his post.

After a while, Moe came lumbering down the hallway.

"HALL PASS, KID!" Calvin yelled.

Moe stared at Calvin.

"Since when are YOU Hall Monitor, Twinky?" he asked.

"Since always! Gimme your hall pass!"

Moe shoved a piece of paper into Calvin's face.

Calvin read over it.

"Clever as you are, you forgot to put in the number of hairs on your head! Or the number of fingernails you have! Or the number internal organs you have! But most of all... YOU FORGOT TO PUT YOUR SHOE SIZE ON IT! I'm afraid I'll have to report you!"

Moe stared at Calvin, then... POW!

When Calvin regained consciousness, he discovered that Moe was gone.

And Mr Spittle was standing over him.

"Calvin," he said. "Miss Wormwood had objected to you as Hall Monitor. I'm afraid you'll have to give me the suit back. Plus, you were sleeping on the job."

Calvin stared at him.

"I WASN'T SLEEPING!" he screamed. "I WAS JUST POUNDED BY TEN TON GORILLA AND... what did you say about Miss Wormwood?"

"Miss Wormwood wants you back in the class, Calvin. You need to sharpen up on your math skills. Now give me the suit."

"NO!" Calvin yelled. "I wanna be a Hallway guy!"

Mr Spittle gave Calvin the evil eye.

Calvin grumbled, and walked off.

He returned minutes later with the suit in his hands.

He threw the suit at Mr Spittle's feet, and walked off.

"Oh and by the way," Calvin said turning back to Spittle. "Your saliva problem's gettin' worse!"

and with that, he slammed the door to his classroom

"I hate him." said Mr Spittle.

Later, when Calvin got home: "hello, Calvin." said mom. "I hear you've been chosen for Hall Monitor?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Calvin screamed. "what's a Hall Monitor?"

And with that, he slammed the door to his room.

Leaving mom totally stumped.

"What are you so grumpy about?" asked Hobbes.

"Shut up, fuzz ball!" Calvin yelled. "Move over!"

Hobbes scooted off the bed, and Calvin got in.

"You can't go to bed!" said Hobbes. "It's four o'clock!"

"Yeah, well it's midnight in China! Goodnight!"

Calvin turned out the lights.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

He knew that it wasn't midnight in China, but he didn't want to argue with Calvin when he was in this mood. So, he just left the room.

The next day, Calvin was feeling a little better about state of the world.

He ate breakfast, and tried to get out of school, but failed, and before he knew it, he was sitting in the school bus.

"Hello, class." said Miss Wormwood, later that day. "Before we begin today, lets have a few words from our school president."

Calvin's eyes widened with glee.

"Really?" he asked.

"No." said Wormwood. "Not you."

It was then that Calvin's eyes fell on Susie.

She was grinning at Calvin, and wore one those presidential hats. You know the red ones with the stars on them.

"Hello, everyone." she said.

Calvin started banging his head against his desk, until Miss Wormwood stopped him.

"This is going to be a long presidential term." Calvin muttered.

_**The End**_

_Swing123: Hmmm. Ok. This is the chapter I pulled out of the gutter. I think it's better than the last one... It just doesn't seem right to me... oh well. Tell me what you think. But please no flames._


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